You'll Never Know
by nannygirl
Summary: It's been years since Red fought in a war but the harsh memories still manage to find their way into his dreams, luckily he's always had Kitty there to help him deal with the nightmares.


_**Disclaimer:**_ _I own nothing. I do not own That '70s Show or any of it's characters. I do not own any of the songs mentioned in this story. I own nothing!_

 _ **Author's Note:**_ _Hello everyone! How are you? Hope you're doing well! Today I have you're doing well! I've officially started my summer break and to kick it off I decided to post this little fic I had finished a few days ago. It's sort of different from what I usually write but I got the idea and it wouldn't go away till I wrote it. Hope you all like it, if you have the moment to leave a review, it would really mean so much! This is a pure Red/Kitty story, sorta been a while since I wrote one of those and I gotta say, I missed it! Lol Thanks for stopping by to read, please review if you can and thank you in advance! Sorry this fic is a bit angsty, the next oneshot I have in store for you all is really so much lighter and fluffy I promise! Hope you like this one and always, Enjoy!_

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 **You'll Never Know**

It wasn't the loud roar of thunder that woke Kitty from her slumber but rather the deep loud shout that followed.

Though she was still groggy with sleep, she could feel the missing presence of her husband's warmth beside her. Carefully she sat up and through her blurry, just woken up vision, she saw the form of her husband, sitting up in their bed. He wasn't sitting off to the side and didn't appear to be getting out of the bed, from the language of his body Kitty knew it had been his yelp that woke her.

"Red? Honey, are you…" she started, but as she scooted closer to where Red sat she saw the signs.

He was breathing hard, heavy breaths with his upper body showing each breath he took. His face and balding head were covered in sweat. And his hazel eyes were wide with terror.

Kitty knew her husband was not okay.

Shaking off all traces of sleep, Kitty crawled to his side and placed her hands on his shoulders in the most gentle manner. She tried not to show her relief when she saw him close his eyes at her touch, that meant things weren't as bad as they could be.

"It's alright, Red. You're okay," she soothed in a soft voice. "Just breathe, honey. Deep slow breaths. You're okay."

She kept her left arm wrapped over his shoulder while using her right hand to tenderly stroke the faintly damp hair at the top of his head as she whispered more soothing words of comfort. This continued on for several moments, Red carefully putting her words into action which helped bring him into a much calmer state.

Red placed a hand over Kitty's knee, slightly letting her know he was fine now.

"I'm sorry I woke you, sweetheart," he said after a moment.

"Oh honey, it's okay," while Kitty touched at him thinking of her, the truth was sleep was the last thing on her mind. Her arm was still around him and she gave him a small squeeze. "Are you okay?"

Clearing his throat and looking at their bedspread instead of his wife's eyes, Red spoke, "I'm fine. I…it was just a nightmare."

Kitty nodded understanding, "That's what I thought." She had been with him long enough to recognize these nightmares that continued to haunt him decades later. She gave him a soft kiss on his temple. "I was hoping you wouldn't have one this year."

He gave a sort of scoff. "You and me both."

Usually the days leading up to the holiday he would have smaller nightmares, sometimes an occasional sudden flashback in the middle of the day when he was sitting alone and let his mind drift. However, this year there had been nothing of the sorts. Red thought he'd might get a break this time. Things were going smoothly for him until earlier today when he'd had to lecture his son and his dumbass friends about how Memorial Day was more than just an unofficial start to summer that allowed you to get drunk and try to cannonball themselves off the rooftop and into some damn kiddie pool.

His subconscious had clearly hung onto the argument he'd made and brought back the painful memories he tried to keep locked away.

Another crash of thunder rumbled around them.

The sound made Red tense again under Kitty's hands. She tried to soothe him again. No matter how many times she'd seen her husband in this state, and it had been more than a handful during their twenty plus years of marriage, it still Kitty pained to see him like this.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" she knew sometimes it helped while other times all Red wanted was for her to hold him. Whatever he needed, she'd be there for him.

Red gave a heavy sigh, finally meeting her gaze "It was Glenn Richards."

"Oh Red," Kitty's heart dropped at the name and she hugged him closer. "Honey, there was nothing you could have done to try to save him without putting your own life at great risk."

"That's just it, Kitty. I should have taken that risk…it might have saved his life."

Kitty tried to be strong but her eyes were brimming with tears. "And you might have lost yours."

Hating to see her cry, especially when he was the cause, Red hung his head. "He was only a kid, Kitty."

"So were you, Red…"

"No, no," he gruffly shook his head, lifting it again. "I had been to war before. I'd seen and done things…Glenn was just a kid. Hell, he was the same age as Eric and Steven are now. He had his whole life ahead of him the same way our dumbasses do. And because I was too much for a selfish moron, he lost it all."

She didn't remind him of how it hadn't been his fault, she knew that wasn't why he was sharing his nightmare with her. He wasn't trying to get her to make it all better for him, because she couldn't make it all batter no matter how hard she would try.

"Maybe tomorrow we can go to the cemetery. Leave some flowers at his grave," Kitty suggested, stroking his head lightly.

Red nodded, "That would be nice."

When Red didn't return her small smile and instead continued to focus his gaze downwards, Kitty knew there was something that was still bothering her husband.

"What is it, honey?" her voice was barely above a whisper.

Slowly Red lifted his head and met Kitty's gaze once more. Kitty was taken aback though by the look she saw in his eyes. She'd never seen them filled with such fear and sadness. Part of her wanted to tell Red that she didn't want to know what he had to say, but instead she braced herself for the worse.

"The dream, Kitty…Right before _it_ happened…I was calling out to Glenn, I saw him and then suddenly he wasn't Glenn anymore." Seeing the puzzled expression on his wife's face, Red knew he was going to have to say the words. He swallowed the lump in his throat, hoping it would help him continue. "He was Eric."

Kitty couldn't help it, the thought of her baby boy out there in the battle zone, she gasped.

"And even then I couldn't save him, Kitty. I couldn't save my own son."

"Oh Red, oh honey. Oh…" her grip on him tightened and she soon felt his arms coming around her body and then the slight trembling of his body. His grip was so tight it stung her muscles but Kitty didn't care, she only hugged him tighter. When it did start to get too much for her, she allowed herself to settle back against their pillows, being sure to keep their embrace intact. "Oh honey. It was just a dream. It was just a dream."

These soft words were repeated at least a dozen times.

"I know," Red finally said, though muffled by his wife's pink nightgown.

Her hand drifted up and down his back. "You're safe now. You and Eric are both safe here at home. With me. You're safe, honey."

Kitty pressed her lips on his forehead and Red unhid his face, resting his head on her shoulder. "I know."

Happy to see his face again, and see it with less fear than before, Kitty gave him a smile. "I love you, Red."

"I love you too, Kitty."

Red lifted his head off her shoulder and pressed his lips against hers giving her a kiss that would thank her. For everything.

As the couple slowly broke away from the other, they shared a small smile, and though Red prepared to go back to his side of the bed, Kitty softly, pushed his head back towards her until he had it resting on her chest just above her breast. Red didn't resist and instead kept his arms around her waist while hers remained draped over his broad shoulders.

Bringing her left hand up to the top of Red's head she began to tenderly stroke it and the few hairs that resided there. Then in hopes of lulling him back into a more peaceful slumber, Kitty started to hum a familiar old tune that had brought them both a great deal comfort during the time they were separated by the war that continued to haunt her husband's dreams.

It was a song sang by various artist over the years but Kitty had always loved the version by Vera Lynn best. She thought Vera's voice really captured the longing and love imbedded in the lyrics of the wartime song. Kitty could remember listening and singing to it while Red was n Korea. She'd written to him once about it and after he told her he'd heard days before, it just sort of became their song while he was away.

" _You'll never know just how much I miss you, You'll never know just how much I care... And if I tried, I still couldn't hide my love for you…"_

 **The End**

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 _ **Author's Note:**_ _So what did you think? Yay? Nay? A little bit of both? Be sure to let me know what you think!_

 _Hope you all enjoyed this little fic. I really liked writing it, but don't worry I'll have fluff next time…maybe with some other characters too :) And Red and Kitty too of course! The song used in the story is "You'll Never Know" and has many versions but I recommend listening to Vera Lynn's it's really so beautiful.  
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 _Until next time, thanks for reading, hope you liked, please review and lemme know what you think, take care, and have a nice day!_


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